Eliminating Stress with "Should Do" Management

We can categorize all the things in our life into three categories. 

Things we "have to" do.

Things we "should" do.

Things we "want to" do.

The "have to" items are things we are compelled to do.  They come from our values, habits, and experiences in our lives.  Paying bills, taking a shower, showing up to work, etc.  These things are not optional (hopefully).  The more successful you might be, usually is reflective of the number of items you have inserted into this column.  

The "want to" items are items we would like to do as often as possible but they really don't create stress in our lives if we don't do it.  Travel, sporting events, entertainment, etc.  They are things we do to reward ourselves for doing the "have to" things so well.

"Should do" items are the ones that give us the most stress and have the opportunity for the most potential success.  I should work out more, eat less, prospect more, call more friends, call more clients, go to church more often, and the list goes on.  These things not completed will create stress in our lives.  They keep us up at night.  They keep us from being successful when not complete.  But, when we do them, we have the greatest joy.  Every time I do those items above, I feel better about myself and I have more success.

Success increases when we turn the "should do" items that are critical paths to our success, into "have to" items.  When prospecting, eating healthy, going to church, etc., becomes part of the compelling and habitual part of my life, I will be more successful.  

This is a great concept but if it were easy we would all be doing it.  How do you turn "Should Do" items to "Have To"?  Only two ways that I know.  All around one word... accountability!

Internal and external accountability are the only ways I have seen habits created that make the should do items become have to items.  Internal accountability is when you simply decide it is gong to happen.  You create scheduling activities or force your behavior.  This is a rare success because most people don't have SEAL training and natural abilities to be this disciplined. 

External accountability seems to be the best source of real behavior change.  Tell someone else the behavior you have to change and ask them to hold you accountable.  This could be a spouse, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, or a mentor.  Someone that will consistently challenge you in the area you want to change.  Usually, the time frame is about 3 months to make something a "have to" item.

When you create this accountability and change behaviors to be consistent with your goals, you will find the stress will subside and the results will compound!  Try it and see what happens.